Parental Responsibility.

So here I go back on the soapbox again! I just read on someone's Facebook page about the Tylenol recall. I was well aware of the recall (I had Tylenol that was in the recall) but I didn't know what sparked the recall.

From what I've been able to gather, back in March of 2002 a child died from acetaminophen toxicity. While that's beyond tragic, the parents were ultimately responsible. They assumed Infant's Tylenol wasn't as potent as Children's Tylenol.

First of all, WHO assumes when giving anything to their child? I know I sure as hell don't! If I'm still unsure, I call her pediatrician and they will do a phone consult free. That's how I know that I can give her Children's Benedryl when she needs it.

Second, WTH is with everyone being sue happy?!?! I mean come on now! The parents gave the kid too much and won 5 million, some lady spilled hot coffee and won, some guy sued a motor home company because he thought the brocure meant "cruise control" meant you could set it and go make coffee. I mean come on people. Are we REALLY that ignorant as a society? Well, actually, the masses voted Obama in so I guess there's my answer but still. It's common sense... hot coffee is HOT (who would have thought!?!?!)... cruise control is NOT auto pilot... and READ THE DAMN LABEL before giving your kid anything!

Common sense people. We were taught in kindergarten to "Think before you act." Apparently everyone forgot. When it comes to your kids, there is NO EXCUSE. THINK BEFORE YOU ACT! READ THE LABELS.... Do WHATEVER it takes to keep your kids safe!

Acceptance

There comes a point in life where we must learn to accept the things we cannot change... or so I've heard. It's a million times harder to to do than say.

Slowly I'm learning to accept that I will never have the relationship with my mother that I'd always wished I had. She was never there for me when I needed her, never helped me with homework, never gave a shoulder when there was a boy tragedy (because they were ALL tragedies back them!) and she was never really sober. Please spare me the "it's a disease" BS that I've heard so many times I think my head may actually spin. And PLEASE keep the "it's genetic" crap to yourselves. I've heard every bit of it and it's all crap. I've sat through Al Anon and Al Ateen or whatever. I'm sorry but there is always a choice. There is always something important enough to not pick up that bottle. What I can't wrap my mind around is how a child isn't enough incentive. There are some things I will never have the answers to and I'm sure that's one of them.

It's obvious my mother will never change, we will never have a relationship and she will never know my daughter. There's far too much hurt and pain to even try anymore. My childhood aside, she's done far too much to be forgiven. I mean come on, the first words out of her mouth when I told her I was pregnant with Ozzalyn were that I needed to get an abortion and she'd help pay. There's too much hurt... too much anger... too much resentment.

So on with this acceptance thing. One day at a time I guess. My only solace is knowing that my daughter will NEVER see any of the crap I ever did. I may not be able to protect her from everything but I can protect her from that. I know I'll never be like my mother, I'm too terrified of becoming her to ever be like her.

So... acceptance... I'm giving it a try.

Flagstaff!

So we just got home from our trip. It was nice to get out of town! We were really only gone 2 whole days but we did a lot!

Wednesday: Ozzy and I picked Dan up from work and we went straight to get the rental car. We came home home, loaded the car and we were off! We got a Chrysler 300 C... I WANT ONE!! It took us about 2 hours to get to Flagstaff, I guess that's about normal. We tried to check in early but they were "doing maintenance" on our room. So we drove around for a while and walked around walmart, LOL. We had lunch at a BBQ place in the "Basement Marketplace" and it was terrible! Neither of us could eat it, we ended up getting our money back. About 3 we got into our hotel room and passed out. We had been up for 2 days! We woke up to Ozzy giggling and decided to go to dinner at the place we had seen on Diners, Drive Ins and Dives. I have to say, Guy let us down! We went to Salsa Brava. My first chimi was soggy and gross. They remade it and it still wasn't great. Dan's wasn't bad but it wasn't good either. Lesson learned. Two bad meals in a day... it was bed time!

Thursday: We got a bit of a late start. Showers took FOREVER because there was pretty much NO water pressure. It was pretty bad. We missed the "complementary" breakfast so we had Ihop (I had never been). It wasn't too bad... for the life of me I can't find a place that cooks an egg over medium correctly but oh well. We met a nice couple at the table next to us. They live in Mesa so not too far. Their youngest is a little younger than Ozzy so she was happy playing. After breakfast (and Ozzy crying that she misses her "Donna"... NOT the girl's name... Belladonna is Jen's daughter's name, LOL) we decided to head to the Grand Canyon. Here's a tip... even if you only plan to go in for an hour they will charge you 25 for a 7 day pass! We didn't think it was worth it so we turned around at the gate. We stopped at this place that was Flinstones themed. Ozzy got to swing and play on the slide and teeter totter with Daddy. She didn't want to leave but she never does. From there we went and played in the snow. I got a bunch of good pics and Ozzy LOVED the snow! Again, she didn't want to leave. Anyone else notice the pattern? LOL We went back into town and I noticed I had a missed call. It was a 727 area code I didn't recognize. I listen to my voicemail and I hear my mom's boyfriend in the background telling my mother he's sick of her sh*t... good for him! So I call back and she answers. I asked her why she called and she asked who I was. "Who in the h*ll do you think it is, doesn't the 623 area code give it away?" Still didn't know who it was. "It's your DAUGHTER!" She either said she didn't have one or not to call again. I couldn't tell, she was slurring BADLY. I never thought I would see the day that she didn't know who her own daughter was. Just goes to show where her mind is at these days... at the bottom of a bottle! ANYWAY, we went to the room and changed into dry clothes and went to Chili's for dinner. When we got back Dan brought up the question of coming home tonight instead of tomorrow. We would get a refund for one day of the rental and not have to eat another meal out. So I packed up the hotel, we loaded the car and headed back!

When we got to the apartment Dan brought the bags upstairs. We had to bring that in because it would NOT fit in the Civic. I guess the neighbors were out when he came up here and I think he may have scared them half to death. He unlocked the door and then drew his gun to clear the apartment. He wanted to make sure no one broke in and was in here. The neighbors saw the gun and high tailed it inside. LOL Maybe they will actually be QUIET when they come upstairs from now on! But we took the car back (I wanted to keep it... FOREVER!) and came home. Ozzy's mad we took her car away, she loved the rental too! We're all home now. Dan's playing his Call of Duty or whatever online (there's a shocker... not!), Ozzy's watching cartoons and getting her bed all comfy for her and I'm on here. In about 10 minutes I'll be in bed on my way to la la land. I'm exhausted and my back is KILLING me! On the plus side, coming home early means I can go to the chiropractor tomorrow instead of Monday! Dan's coming with me tomorrow to get his back done. I will be chipper Amber again tomorrow!

Night night Cyber land!

Putting it all in perspective...

So I'm sitting here this afternoon annoyed. The crap with my mom and her "PTSD" is enough to send me into a tail spin. On top of that, my chiropractor called out sick and my toddler is being unbearable. To pass the time before I need to go to the store I was poking around on Facebook. To be perfectly honest I have NO clue who half the people on my page are, but I saw that someone posted a link to a blog page. Me being the Nosy Rosie I am, I decided to read it.

This is the page I just read... http://laylagrace.org/?p=448 ... let me tell you, it puts my "bad" day in perspective. I couldn't imagine for one minute living if Ozzy was dying. Anyone who knows me knows that she is the epicenter of my universe. She absolutely is my reason for living and I'm ok with that. I really don't know what I would do if she got sick. My grandma dying was VERY hard on me, but she wasn't my daughter.

I read that post with tears pouring down my face. I know I'm guilty of wishing she'd be quiet, wishing she'd just go to her room and give me 5 minutes without a toddler up my butt. My heart breaks for Layla's mom and for my own guilt. I think it's only natural to gripe about our children but I think I will gripe a bit less, hug her just a bit tighter, smother her in kisses a little more and just watch in amazement. She's gotten so big and she's so smart... too smart... but she's this amazing little person. I can't take for granted that I have this beautiful, healthy baby girl. Not so much a baby, she'll be 3 next month but still. Even when she's 50 she will still be my baby...

Intervention....

Ok, so I watch the show religiously and each episode I seem to get more and more irritated. I'm so sick of these people. Maybe it's because my mother is an alcoholic, I don't know.

Take tonight for example, the lady was in her 30's and was an alcoholic. She had a little girl maybe a year older than Ozzalyn. To see her ignoring her daughter for the bottle really struck a chord. HOW can your child not be important enough to put the bottle down? I'm sorry but I think the people that cry that it's an "addiction" are using it as a crutch. I've seen people go cold turkey from things far worse than alcohol. The world will not collapse if they get sober! What irks me even more is the people that get sober for a period of time, then start drinking again!

Take my wonderful *cough* mother for example. As far back as I can remember she drank. I don't mean she had a drink here and there... she DRANK! The horrors I witnessed growing up no one should EVER have to see... EVER. She's tried killing me, she's shattered glass over me so I had to get glass over my head, she's humiliated me... you name it, it's a possibility I've seen it. Am I bitter? A little, yeah. Anyone who says they are unaffected is a ball faced liar. You can't suffer that type of abuse and NOT be affected. Do I want to try and have a relationship with her now? Nope! I've tried that, been down that road, it got me no where. There was a period that she was sober. Shocked the crap out of me. Now if you ask her, she'll say she was sober for 4 years. It was only a year. But hey, who's counting? Oh yeah, me! During that time she wanted to be my best friend. All I wanted was a mother. How horrible is it to go out with your friends to a club and turn around and see your mother and step dad out on the dance floor. Talk about experiences I'd rather not relive. Sadly that's not even close to the worst! After a year sober, she made the decision to leave her husband and start drinking. She had it made! She drove a Jaguar, went on 3-4 vacations a year and didn't have to pay a single bill. I think she paid the Discover card, but the rest of her money she could spend on whatever. Did I mention 3-4 vacations A YEAR?!?!!??! He was a great guy too. A little kooky, then again most of my family is too, LOL! She walked out on that to drink! She claimed he was "abusive" and "expected too much of her." "Abusive" was him smacking her butt when she was around... like a love tap. "Expecting too much" was for her to keep the house clean and make dinner. He was a neat freak so it's not like it took much to clean the house! Whatever.

Fast forward 2 years, and 2 (winner) boyfriends later. She decided to come see me and Ozzalyn. It's no secret that my husband does NOT like my mother, but I told her if she showed up SOBER I'd talk to him about letting her see Ozzalyn. Sounded fair to me! Well she lands in Phoenix and lets me know she's landed... she's slurring. According to her, she was "tired." Yeah, and I'm Oprah! I waited for a few hours and shockingly there was no call or knock at my door. They got "lost." If anyone's familiar with Phoenix, we lived off of the I-17. Their hotel was in Sedona... you have to take the 17 to get there. Phoenix is one massive grid. Did I mention my parents met when my mom and grandma moved out here? I'm blonde, not stupid. For the rest of their trip I didn't hear anything. Not a call, not a text, nothing. They didn't invite us up to Sedona, they didn't come to Phoenix to see us, nothing. When she got back to FL she proceeds to chew me out because she spent all this money and didn't get to see us! Are you kidding me? According to her she knocked on my door for over an hour. If she knocked and was drunk, we would have called the Police. If she knocked and was sober, I'd have opened the door... there was never a knock!

Now fast forward to present day. She now lives with her addict boyfriend in his mom's apartment. Doesn't that sound like luxury?!?! She's convinced a doctor that she has PTSD from when my dad "beat her." Imagine that, another lie to get more drugs! I wish I knew who the doctor was. She hasn't told me that one yet, I heard from my aunt who heard from my grandma. My poor grandmother is in poor health and my mother is doing nothing but making it worse. God only knows what my mother has said about me, and at this point I can't care. Last I heard she was SO miserable and she wanted to move out here with me. First off, she made her bed, she can lay in it. No one MADE her make the decisions she did! Second, I'd like to retain the little bit of sanity I have left from my daughter. I'm on my toes enough! Third, I will NOT have my mother ANYWHERE NEAR my daughter. I couldn't control what I was exposed to, but I CAN control what my daughter's exposed to! Lastly, my husband wouldn't let my mother anywhere NEAR us. He sees the effects and will not have it! Besides, I wouldn't torture my dad by inviting my mother to AZ. When she came for that "vacation" my dad had heartburn and couldn't sleep.

My whole point to this is that show is all too contrived. There's no way it's all real. Maybe my mother is more screwed up than the rest, I don't know. I still can't wrap my mind around being sober for a year and then deciding to drink again.... then telling me you can't get sober because you're addicted. I don't buy it. If I don't want to do something, I don't!

I'll step down from my soap box now :)

Intro to OzzysMomma

Hello cyberspace!

As my first blog I thought I would tell a bit about me. My name is Amber. I live in wonderful *coughs* Phoenix, AZ. I'm the mother to a soon-to-be 3 year old, Ozzalyn. She's got my attitude, her father's temper and his stubbornness... all wrapped up into one very cute blonde, blue eyed little ball. When she's not keeping me on my toes, there is always my husband. Can't live with them, can't shoot them... what can I say! LOL

I'm also the owner of Ozzabug Couture Boutique. I was the co-owner of Bri & Ozzy's Customs but that is no more. So I decided to open my own and I'm loving every minute of it! I get a kick out of creating all sorts of outfit and having my own mini model doesn't hurt! My husband keeps asking me if she's my life sized Barbie. She made me sicker than anything for 7 months of my pregnancy, I'm sure she gave me internal bruising and I pushed her happy butt out... so yes, she is MY life size Barbie! LOL Now if we could just get rid of the word "no!"